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Friday, June 21, 2002

"Try Jesus"

That was a slogan (a command, really) I saw this morning on Church Bus from Arkansas' rear.

I think this is the day the Baptists go home. Yes. No more lost motor coaches idly driving down the middle of downtown trying to figure out where they need to turn and making my life difficult.

This is a Web site of note, and so it should be. Annie, will you be my friend?

Today's horoscope: Cauliflower, pineapple seek tomato, mango the broccoli, passion fruit hidden garlic apple code lettuce, melon in radish lemon this cucumber orange list beans, grapes of peas, cherries apparently pepper, pear random, potato, banana fruit onion papaya and celery, apricot vegetables. Read the above again, it is not as obtuse as it appears. This weekend, a lot of seemingly empty information is being exchanged. If though, you place attention and get right to the heart of the matter, you will yet make a pleasing discovery that matters greatly to your heart.

I will learn how to make an exotic salad this weekend. I knew it!




Thursday, June 20, 2002

Homage to Mr. Live in Chopper 5

What is the deal with people dying? Aaliyah, Lisa 'Left Eye' Lopes, Joey Ramone, Dee Dee Ramone, Jack Buck, and now my local traffic reporter to whom, for some reason unbeknownst to me, I was rather attached. You know, you move to a new city and it takes a while (for me anyway) to get used to the local broadcasters. Once it happens, though, (the accepting of the new, and the getting over the old), they are like family. You know their tag lines. You laugh at their predictable jokes (if they're that kind of broadcaster), and you feel like you know them. Then one day they're out jogging and they collapse. Just like that, gone. No more tag line. No more familiar lilts and uptalk. A moment of silence, please.

Thank you.

Today's horoscope: English is one of the most widely used languages in the world. No matter where you travel, you will always find someone who speaks it. We would be wrong though, to conclude from this that we stand a fair chance of being understood wherever we go. Indeed, in order to be completely misunderstood, we do not need to venture outside your own front door. It is difficult to say quite how or why a certain person has got hold of the wrong end of a rather crucial stick; it is though clear, that something needs to be sorted out. Perhaps you need an interpreter today.

"Crucial Stick?" What crucial stick? Who's holding what? I'm so confused. Perhaps it's me that's holding on to the wrong end of said crucial stick? Anyone care to interpret?

Wednesday, June 19, 2002

Thanks, Sam!

This site totally made my day.
Today's horoscope: Feeling a little flat? Does it seem as if the wind has been taken out of your sails? Are you being tortured by an emotion that you just can’t let go of, or by a need that you just can’t fulfil? Have you felt uncomfortable for some while now? If your answer to any of the above is yes, take heart. A change in your situation is imminent. Within just a few more weeks, Jupiter will have moved into a new sector of the zodiac. If you don’t feel able to wait even that long for change, change something else – your attitude. It is time you took a certain situation less seriously.

If one more person tells me to change my attitude, I swear to God. heh heh. So my high school reunion is in two weeks. Two weeks! TEN YEARS. All I can say is I hope some of the cheerleaders got fat. Stay tuned for more catty statements and full event coverage.




Tuesday, June 18, 2002

Awwww. This song reminds me of driving around one afternoon two years ago, looking for a place to park so I could watch some friends play softball on the Mall. It's Belle and Sebastian's "The State I Am In." It doesn't sound like much of a memory, but it was a beautiful day that day and despite the obnoxious lack of available parking spaces on Constitution, I was so happy that afternoon.

Speaking of beautiful days, today is one, too. I'm going to take the pooch for a walk in the park.
Where is my Mind?
You're smart, shy, and often nonsensical. You have dreams of being famous, and you're quirky enough that you just might pull them off. Some would call you a genius, others would call you insane, but in reality you're pretty well-adjusted. Take a vacation once in a while- it'll help take your mind off of your troubles.
Which Pixies song are you?


Good morning.

My dog puked on the bed this morning. Fortunately, it was only on the 'crappy' comforter and wasn't all that much. But still. It was on my side of the bed, and if I would have woken up from sinking a heel into a small vomit mound I would have been pissed. Poor little guy. He's fine now. Knock wood.

Today's horoscope: Deals are easy to do. They are not though, always so easy to stick to. Beware false promises now. Don’t let someone point to the moon and suggest that they have the ability to deliver this to you, no matter how keen you are to feel this might be possible. Be similarly wary of your own desire to promise more than you can deliver – or to say whatever sounds good – without thinking it fully through. Jupiter’s sharp link to Mercury suggests that there is definitely magic to be experienced now but this does not automatically mean that you are capable of experiencing the truly miraculous.

Hmmmm...maybe now is not the time to take on more work than I can handle? The stars say I ain't no miracle worker. Oh, how beloved procrastination adores the blog.

I was able to catch the second half of Married in America last night on A&E. I plan to tape/watch the first half on Thursday evening. The story about Chuck and Carol is incredible. Yay for documentaries!

Monday, June 17, 2002

For the past few days I've been pretty slack at work. I've been considering it a well-deserved holiday/rest after a period of true shoulder to the grindstone activity. My problem, though, is that once I am at rest, I like to stay at rest. This means that while in this state of slackitude, even the smallest task seems like a big deal. I'm here to say that, as of this moment, I am going to step on the accelerator and get my ass moving again. It's time, and I'm on deadline.

Of course, this does not mean that I don't welcome your comments. On the contrary. In my state of hardworkingness, I will welcome the distraction.

sputteringly yours,

Here I go, jumping on the bandwagon again. I've just installed YACCS so that those I have invited to visit this site have the opportunity to comment if they desire. I do value my anonymity, though, because like my girl said, "The last thing I want is for someone I know (business associate, ex, whatever) to google me and come across this drivel." So, please don't use my real name. Call me ghettolicious if you need a proper name. Thanks!!

It has been brought to my attention that "The Brooding Wand" and "Mr. Bumpy" sound like vibrators. For the record, they are not. If they were, I'd have to change my whole blog description.

Today's horoscope: A dialogue is taking place. You are obliged to listen very carefully to a certain someone. This person, in turn, is intent on understanding you. The process ought to be easy but there seems to be a point of conflict. You do not feel completely at ease. You suspect there is a hidden agenda. Ironically, the same is suspected of you. If you place all of your cards on to the table, you can come to no harm. If you keep some hidden up your sleeve, it will not be long before they fall out – very visibly. The same is true for the other person. So relax.

I have no idea what this means.

So, I tried my best to watch my first Greek film this weekend, Eternity and a Day . I wasn't in the right frame of mind, I guess, because I only watched half of it and couldn't help but think to myself, "Eternity and a Day. Yeah, no kidding. How much longer is this gonna last?" Then I felt the intellectual guilt that comes from not getting into something artsy and foreign. Ah well.

Sunday, June 16, 2002

Happy Father's Day

So my mom wants me to freeze some of my boyfriend's sperm for future insemination, regardless of whether or not we stay together. I am not shitting you. She said, "I think I want him to be the father of my grandson. He appears to be very clever, both intellectually and athletically. Tell him you don't need a commitment. All you need is his sperm." And she kept on saying it. Sperm. Sperm. Sperm. I keep on telling her that she has a grandson. He's a beagle. Sigh. I have not yet been tapped on the shoulder with the Brooding Wand. Is that bad?